Dearest and beloved readers, in this work of restoring the Church life, our Lord Jesus, by His Spirit, will not allow the old man to partake in the unending joys and unsearchable riches found in Him.
At the early age of ten, the compulsion to accept Jesus Christ into my heart was so overwhelming that the timid me mastered all the courage—from whence this came, I know not—but accept the gift of salvation I did, without hesitation. From thence, the road has been treacherous, for now I know that once one surrenders his life to the Master, he forfeits all rights to it, for now it belongeth to another. He will accept nothing less.
Since I did not comprehend that salvation, in all its fullness, is by grace, oh how I strived to live the Christian life—to be perfect in my own ways, not His ways; yea, the letter kills while the Spirit gives life. And as I walked thus, I became more judgmental, more condemnatory, and somehow so angry. I was oblivious to the rottenness and deceitfulness in the depths of my heart; filthy rags, it is written, eh?
But our Lord suffers so long for us! Who can understand this? One day, after many strivings—including a brutal forty-day fast in 2018—everything came crashing down. That was the year I had a one-on-one, heart-to-heart encounter with our risen Savior. Our Heavenly Father is so loving and gracious, for He chose the perfect moment to reveal His Son to me: a rainy, cold, and dark night—literally, for there was a blackout. His light and love so overwhelmed me that, instantaneously, all depression, obsession, and oppression vanished.
Now I know that our Lord is more real than anything else. And that was just the beginning. He began plunging me into the experience of His depths, and in all this—by His light—He has specifically and gently revealed to me how sinful I am, and the attitudinal patterns of my life, so much so that even tonight, as I write this, I feel like sin itself. Lest we forget: if we are keen enough, He will remind us of the depths of our depravity. Yet in all this, He does clothe us in His righteousness, taking our filthy garments away. Then, are we able to carry our cross for His Name’s sake. How precious Jesus truly is.
John Newton aptly captured what the true Christian life is; read below:
“I will put My fear in their hearts, so they will never turn away from Me.” Jeremiah 32:40
Jesus, to whom I have been led to commit myself, has engaged to save me absolutely, and from first to last. He has promised not only that He will not depart from me-but that He will put, keep, and maintain His fear in my heart; so that I shall never finally depart from Him! And if He does not do this for me, I have no security against my turning apostate! For I am so weak, inconsistent, and sinful; I am so encompassed with deadly snares from the world; and I am so liable to such assaults from the subtlety, vigilance and power of Satan-that, unless I am “kept by the power of God,” I am sure I cannot endure to the end!
I do believe that the Lord will keep me while I walk humbly and obediently before Him; but, were this all-it would be cold comfort! For I am prone to wander-and need a Shepherd whose watchful eye, compassionate heart, and boundless mercy will pity, pardon, and restore my backslidings!
For, though by His goodness and not my own-I have hitherto been preserved in the path of holiness; yet I feel those evils within me, which would shortly break loose and bear me down to destruction, were He not ever present with me to control them.
Those who comfortably hope to see His face in glory, but depend upon their own watchfulness and endeavors to preserve themselves from falling-must be much wiser, better, and stronger than I am! Or at least they cannot have so deep and painful a sense of their own weakness and vileness, as daily experience forces upon me. I desire to be found in the use of the Lord’s appointed means for the renewal of my spiritual strength-but I dare not undertake to watch a single hour, nor do I find ability to think a good thought, nor a power in myself of resisting any temptation! My strength is perfect weakness, and all I have is sin.
In short, I must sit down in despair-if I did not believe that He who has begun a good work in me, will carry it out to completion.
“Hold me up-and I shall be safe!” Psalm 119:117: “I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules!” Ezekiel 36:27
So, you see, beloved readers, Jesus is our prize, and as transcendent and unsearchable as He is, He has made it possible, through the finished work of the Cross, to have His abode in all those who choose to receive Him; only then can we live our true lives from the source of our Being. The Holy Spirit, like an eagle, hovers over the chaos of many a nonbeliever’s heart, waiting for you to choose to believe in Jesus Christ and to confess Him with your mouth that God hath raised Him from the dead—therein is your salvation, and the Holy Spirit surely will transform the chaos into beauty! There are few things in the Bible that are mentioned to be so valuable and costly; one is the redemption of your soul.